Friday, June 11, 2010

I can do this

1 more week to go! Dear, Sweet Baby Jesus I'm tired! I'm hungry. Cravings have kicked in. I have a pain in my ass cheek that won't go away. And I'm ready. Yup, I'm ready for the stage. Ready to get on it and bask in the spotlight, even if it's only for a few moments. When it's over I can sleep. After I eat. I'm trying not to think too much on the eating part but it's gonna be good.

As I sit here eating my cod and asparagus, the same lunch I've been eating since January, I'm truly thankful that I've made it this far. I'm thankful that I didn't give up like I sort of wanted to when life was beating me down. Feeling battered and bruised I wanted to throw in the towel and crawl into a nice bottle of vodka. But I didn't. I couldn't. I'd already lost so much and wasn't willing to lose this chance also. This opportunity to train and mold my body. To step onstage looking exactly the way I wanted to. The chance to go for pro.

And so I didn't give up. I dealt with the issues the best that I could. I had help from some fabulous people who I treasure dearly. I hung in there and put one foot in front of the other. I made it to this point, 1 week before my show, and for that I am grateful.

Today I have to finish my cardio and lift chest and shoulders. I have 2 cardio-only days this weekend. Next week is peak week and I'll do circuits and some more cardio. That's it. Thursday I get on the plan and will be in Chicago by 3pm. Show is Friday and Saturday. Saturday night I'll eat. Sunday I have a photoshoot and will then fly home. I can do this.