Friday, May 21, 2010

Eat, train, pose, sleep, and repeat

As of today I'm 4 weeks from my show. I have been dieting for 20 weeks so far. I'm freakin' tired. That aside, I'm really loving the changes that I've watched my body go through these last 20 weeks. It's awesome. Tweak here and there and I'm able to change how I look. By tweak I mean more cardio, changing the diet, more water, etc.

I'm making it a point to rest my body more and massage/stretch when I'm at home to help myself heal. I had pain shooting throughout my legs while standing at work yesterday. As of right now I have muscles twitching in my calves and my thighs are sore. I almost said quads, and then I thought hammies. Hell, my entire thigh hurts. I did do some massaging while in bed last night and it hurt like hell. But I think it really helped. I need to buy some more bioflexor and keep at it. I also need to use the foam roller that I have lying in the middle of the living room floor. It's not of much use just lying there.

So, my entry form/fee is completed and sent (check), flight reservation made (check), and hotel reservation made (check). All that's left to do is eat, train, pose, sleep, and repeat. AND pack. I already have my packing list made and now need to go through it to see what I have leftover from last year and what needs to be purchased. I've made my waxing appointment. Need to buy new hair and make a hair appointment. I think I may save the facial for between shows to rejuvinate my skin a bit. And maybe schedule a massage for between shows.

I'll be heading up to Plano next weekend to work on my posing with Jeff. Everything else is falling into place and I feel like that's the one area where I may get dinged while on stage. Can't let that happen. I've got to figure out a way to look a little more symetrical on stage. If I can do that, then I'll have presented the entire package just the way we imagined it. That is the goal.

Monday, May 3, 2010


6 weeks and 4 days to go until I step on stage for the first time this year. I'm excited, nervous, unsure, worried, stressed, etc. Last week I had an official anxiety attack and went full steam into stress mode. But hell, it was probably to be expected. I've been dieting since January and that in itself is stressful. I don't see how there are some people out there that jump from one diet to the next. It's hard living in a state where you can't do various things, have to do various things, want to do anything other than what you're supposed to be doing ALL THE TIME. Day in and day out. But, I choose to live this way because I choose to compete. I'm having to remind myself (and others) of that a lot. Hard work now will pay off later. Hopefully with a bright shiny trophy and a pro card but we'll see. When the going gets tough, I just have to get a little tougher. And tough I shall be.

My mom says she's coming to my show and that has me re-motivated to look my absolute best. Things may change with finances, which I totally understand. But for now, she's coming and I'm excited to have her there. She's never seen me compete and has only heard my hobby. I hope that this will help her to understand why I live the way I do while training and why I work so hard at it. A bonus will be if my dad can come to but again, that will be determined by finances.

I told Jeff that my goals for this year haven't changed. I want to turn pro and that's that. But, my body may not let me go as long as I originally wanted to. I'm starting to see the signs of me needing a real off season. Not 3 or 4 months. But a serious off season to let my body rest and heal and get back to a good metabolic state. I realized that every prep is harder and harder and my body fights me more and more. It's time for a rest. What will I do with my time?

Oh, tons! In some ways I can't wait to have my life back. To create a new life and experience new things. To live in ways that I haven't been able to in the last 4 years of competing. Exciting. But, I also am dead set against getting fat. Again. No more fat off seasons for me. I can't do that to my body again, or let my body to it to me, however it happens. If it means proceding very slowly out of the diet and staying on a plan for a while then so be it. But Fat Toya is gone.