A long time coming

First day back at work and I'm feeling incredibly unproductive. Staring off into space, shuffling papers around, and just standing there. Vacay was nice but I need to get back into the swing of things.

My 2009 competitive season came to a close 2 weekends ago. Now for the off season. Time to make gains as I told my trainer. I have some areas that I want to work on physically. Bring up my shoulders some more. The rear is forever an area that could use work. And keep up the progress that I've made on my back.

I also have other physical areas to work on. Those beauty areas that the judges also look at. Hair, nails, skin, etc. Get in touch with my inner femme is the goal. I want to come into 2010 as a completely polished package.

And then there are those other areas. I finally have the extra cash to start doing things around the house which really excites me. And being able to spend on myself in areas not related to competing is a definite bonus. Yes, I'm going shopping. BUT, I'm doing so completely within my means. I've come a long way and it's about time!

Thanks

What I thought about yesterday during cardio:
1. I am so thankful that I've stayed healthy during the final show's prep. I normally start to feel that icky feeling at some point which is usually followed by a sore throat or cold. No sickness this time around.
2. I thankful for my coach, Jeff Dwelle. Even though he's not there at the time, I still hear his voice pushing me. It's been a tough prep but not impossibly so. If it were easy, everyone would do it. I'm especially thankful that I no longer have to stress about my progress. I do what he says and leave the guess-work up to him.
3. I'm thankful for my partner. I've been pushing so hard that I haven't had the time or energy to tend to the little things. I'm fortunate to have someone who's done the laundry, made grocery runs, fed my cat, cooked my food, etc. It's taken a huge weight off my shoulders.
4. I'm thankful for my friends. They're eager to see me, but understand my commitment and support me all the way. It's hard because I'm so focused right now and have 0 time for anything at the moment. But they're there and I love them.
5. I'm thankful for each and everyday that I wake up and am able to train. Somebody didn't wake up at all and has passed on. Somebody is bedridden and unable to move. Somebody has no passion for anything that leads them to try hard everyday. Somebody has yet to learn the benefits of exercise.
6. I'm thankful for my cat, Zillah. Where else could I find such unconditional love?
7. I'm thankful for my job. It sucks at times. And I'm currently stressed as I have a ton of things to do. But I have a job.
8. I'm thankful for having left the old me behind. That person is not forgotten, but is no longer here.
9. I'm thankful for the new and improved relationship I have with my family. I truly enjoy speaking with them and am looking forward to my visit in a week.
10. And finally, I'm thankful for all that I've learned this prep, and the progress that I've been able to make.

Lessons

Under the 2 week mark. I'm exhausted/sore/hungry/excited/ready! I can't believe that I've had such a long season. In fact, this is my longest yet. I've been dieting/training since January. January 11th to be exact. Over 9 months of dieting this year, which is almost 2 months longer than normal. I had hoped to continue on through November to compete in Florida at Nationals but I think my body is showing all the signs of needing rest. Ahhhh, rest.....But I digress. I've accomplished a lot this year. 4th place at the Ronnie Coleman Classic. From there I went on to place 3rd at the Jr USA's in Charleston. My first national-level show. It was rough. I have never in my life encountered so much difficulties in trying to achieve a goal. I mis-booked my flight and had to pay a huge fee to get another. I then discovered that I had no way from the show back to the airport. I'll never fly in/out of another city again!I found a way to the airport and then lost my two roommates. One had a death in the family, one just kinda quit. I then discovered a 3rd roommate that I hadn't quite realized was coming. Lucky for me she had a calm demeanor and saved the day. I also met a great lady who is a phenomenal athlete. We had a room. Because of my original flight issue, I had to drive 3 hours to fly from D/FW into Raleigh airport, rent a car, and then drive 4 hours to Charleston. Ugh! Just my luck I also woke up the morning I was leaving with a message that my place to stay before flying back to Texas fell through. Of all the luck!But, I made it there and back. I figure I got all the competition travel learning out of the way in one trip. It's all a learning experience, right?I next went on to compete at the Texas Round Up. I couldn't resist doing a hometown show. I placed 2nd there and kept training for my next show...Team Universe!So, here I am less than 2 weeks away. I'll be on a plane to New York next Thursday. I can hang in until then. It'll all be downhill at that point. And then, showtime!! Quickly followed by dinnertime!!!

Living in the Zone???

2 weeks and counting. 1 more week of hard ass work and then it's peak week. I like that. Breaking it down into smaller increments helps me NOT think about each and every day and all that must get done. Same with dieting. I do about 2 hours of work and then it's time to eat. Right now it's pork and asparagus. Always asparagus. I'm not sure how or why my body does it. But no other vegetable is accepted at this stage of dieting. Sad and strange but I learned the hard way. Bloating is nobody's friend.I should've been a powerlifter. I have a friend who competes as a powerlifter and he just so happens to have a meet this weekend. They get to eat. He actually told me (the girl that's been dieting since January) that he gets tired of eating and has trouble getting all his calories in. Seriously!?!? I have no such issues. But then again, I never was the type to miss a meal. I enjoy eating. Sometimes too much. I definately fall into the emotional eater category. And in a way, figure competing has helped me learn the "how to's" of eating, as well as the "why's." I often find myself telling others that I understand how hard it is to lose weight. Trust me, I do. I know that food tastes good and there's a lot of it out there. I know that many social activities are centered around food (and alcohol). Good day? Bad day? Doesn't matter, eat! There are treats at work and treats at home. You want to eat well but your family doesn't. I know all these things.I also know that I, and only I am responsible for what goes into my mouth. I know that I may be able to rationalize slipping here and there, but that my body will be affected by it. I know that I can accept my weakness and work around them. For example, I'm too weak to go to social gatherings even with my own food. I end up staring at all the things I can't have. So, I avoid those gatherings with food. If that means I'm AWOL for a while, then it means just that. My diet and training are way more important to me. And I know that it's not forever. I don't live so strictly year-round. The end is approaching for me and I can transition back to a normal, healthy diet. I can eat out and have a drink and enjoy myself. But, the hard work has to come first. And once the show is over and I go into off season, I'm still in training. Just, in off season training. So, to those that think they have a super-special secret as to why they can't, trust me, you're reason ain't so special. It's your own personal excuse as to why you're not stepping up. The comfort zone is just a delusion.

5 years later

Thursday I, after 5 loooong years, will officially have paid off all my credit card debt. HELL YEAH!! I've got the last payment set up and it will be drafted on Thursday. 2 cards, both previously maxed out, will then show a huge $0 balance. I may just frame those last statements. It is possible to live without plastic. I've managed to fly, rent cars and hotels, eat out, and shop without plastic. When situations arose I handled them, without plastic. I've been able to compete and buy my super expensive suit without plastic. I've been broke, and then much more broke. But no plastic. I'm so freakin proud of myself. Actually, I guess I did use plastic but it was my debit card and not a credit card. I hate debt, especially the stupid kind. Student loans are necessary. Credit card debt is not. I first got mine in college and have used them for just about every stupid reason there is. Happy hour, clothes, dinner, i had a bad day and need ____. Yup, did it all. No more. This woman has learned her lesson. On Thursday, MBNA and Citibank can kiss my ASS!!