Thursday, February 11, 2010

Just breathe

I'm really trying. Trying to not be consumed by stress or anger. Trying to stay calm and focused. This was supposed to be my smooth sailing year. Just put the work in, stick to my diet, and compete. It hasn't exactly happened that way but does life ever happen the way we want? No, probably not.

I've stuck to my diet and done all my training and cardio but my body doesn't seem to want to respond. I'm really scared that it won't work. I'm scared that my body is sending me a huge "screw you!" and will continue to resist all change. We'll see. I weight and take progress pics tomorrow. I'm hugely afraid of what the scale will say. I know that the scale is not my friend and that I shouldn't measure my progress by the number it gives me. Instead I should focus on how my clothes feel. Except, they don't feel any different either. Sooooo, then what? Sigh. I'm not sure. I guess I'll have to ask Jeff and see what he says. I really hope we can make this happen. This is supposed to be my year, dammit!

But stressing isn't going to help so I need to not do so. Just breathe and focus on what I'm supposed to be doing. Stick to the diet. Do my cardio. Train hard. Rest. Repeat.

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