Haven't posted in a while and A LOT has happened. I've recently found out some very sad news about my fiancee. Correction. Ex-fiancee. Ex-girlfriend. And at this point ex-friend.
Lies. It was all lies and I'm here left to discover it all on my own. Strangely enough, I would have never have discovered any of this had she not gone off to boot camp. I'll try to make a long story short, or at least shorter.
This is what has happened based on what I've discovered:
1. She lost her job, which I knew, and was without an income. She filed for unemployment and was supposed to be looking for work.
2. At some point, she stopped paying her mortgage. Remember that I'm living in the house also. I'm guessing that she made the decision to start juggling her bills and pay other things instead. I know in this economy people are making hard decisions and not paying a mortgage in effort to eat or have heat may be one of them. But, in a relationship, these decisions are not made alone.
3. Like I said she started juggling her bills. Pay one and not the other. So on and so forth. What she did not do is talk to me about the situation. She did not share this problem with me. She did not ask for help and opted to deal all on her own. I could have and would have helped. Pay the HOA, pay the electricity, provide her with gas money. Whatever. Pay more rent so that she could have more towards the mortgage. I would've done it. Stop competing to help? I would've done it. The house was more important.
4. At some point some bills started getting missed entirely. Again, I was left in the dark. Amazingly, we were not literally left in the dark as the electricity was never turned off. She paid the home taxes so I'm guessing she skipped a lot to make that happen. I also discovered a receipt from a ticket from driving without insurance I believe. The fines, fees, and late charges are drowing her but she didn't say a word. Instead she bought my birthday present and took me to see The Color Purple for Christmas. Bad move.
5. I'd like to insert here that I at one point asked if she was making it ok. She said yes. LIES!
6. Before she left I asked if there was anything outstanding that needed to be paid. She said no and that she had even paid the tree removal service. LIES! I received a bill for that today.
Since she's been gone I've been opening her mail and checking email accounts. Everything is past due, overdue, and swimming in fees. And she left me here with this mess. She left me here to find out that the home that I'm living in may be foreclosed because the loan is in serious default. There are bills that need to be paid that I have to pay. Bills that I thought were taken care of. Her dog is in my care and needs to be vaccinated so that I can then board her when I compete. Oh, and I'm supposed to be focused and training for my shows. Trying to go pro and instead I'm super stressed out.
This whole situation has made me sick. Literally sick. I'm not losing weight like I should be and I'm constantly battling feelings of anger, sadness, and heartache. I can't believe that she lied to me. Lied and had the audacity to propose. And now that has been stripped from me. I thought I was headed to a life with her. Instead I'm alone with her mess trying to find a way to keep focused on my goals and keep from freaking out. Thanks a lot.
So, there it is. I'm hugely saddened by this. Saddened, angered, embarrassed, you name it. I now have to go back to everyone that I announced my engagement to and inform them of the change of plans. Questions, looks, whispers, that's what I get. Oh, and the "I told you so" comments of the truly cruel. I'm angry. Pissed off. I can't believe she did this.
I'm really trying to not stress too much. I've brought home boxes to start my packing and will just have to get it done. I have no idea how much time I have in the house. A month? The entire 6 months? I have no clue. I've had no contact from her. No phone calls or letters. Thanks.
So much for happily ever after.
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