Dear US Army Bootcamp headperson,
On Monday I'll be sending off my fiancee to join your ranks. There are a few things you'll need to know before she arrives.
1. She doesn't eat breakfast. She'll forget lunch. And she'll skimp on dinner. I've been working on this but it's like working with a child at times. I know that she won't have the luxury to eat when she wants anymore and needs to eat at the prescribed meal times. I know that if breakfast is at 6am then she needs to eat at 6am. And she had better eat it all or she'll be hungry until the next meal time. I figure that after the first day she'll get with the program or starve.
2. She's been sleeping in a lot lately. Well, since she lost her job. It may be a bit of a shock to her to wake up really early. Mind you I've been waking up early for the past year. We're talking 4am workouts. But, she hasn't had to do that and is a little out of practice. Agan, I figure she'll get with the program.
3. She has this issue with her hair. I dunno. Worried that she won't be allowed to care for it properly. I told her that she isn't the first black woman to go off to basic and certainly won't be the last.
4. She likes to sleep with a towel over her ear. I'm not sure if it's allowed or not but she'll figure that out.
5. She doesn't drink enough water. Our body's are 70% water, not 70% Crystal Lite. Again, she'll figure that out soon enough or dye of dehydration.
6. She's going to miss me a lot. I'm pretty sure that you'll have her so busy that she won't have much time to pine away for me. But, she will miss me. Give her some extra push ups to do and she'll be fine. The time for her will pass away quickly and she'll be back before she knows it.
I think that's it. You'll meet her soon enough. Take care of her. I'll be waiting for her at the airport in a few months.